


Maybe

by Ana_Jacobs



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Doesn't Understand His Feelings, Arthur Has Abandonment Issues, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Comforting Merlin, Cuddling, Fluff, Gaius knows, Idiots in Love, In Character, M/M, Made For Each Other, Merlin is a Little Shit, Sharing a Bed, Soulmates, two sides of the same coin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:09:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27645962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ana_Jacobs/pseuds/Ana_Jacobs
Summary: Merlin shrugged, lay down again and closed his eyes.“If you want to sleep in bed, you’ll have to share it with me,” he said.---Arthur has argued with Gwen and ends up in Merlin’s room, looking for his company and comfort. They share a meaningful conversation -and meaningful looks- until they fall asleep in Merlin’s bed.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 248





	Maybe

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Tal vez](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27670478) by [Ana_Jacobs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ana_Jacobs/pseuds/Ana_Jacobs). 



> Hi!  
> English is not my first language, so I’m sorry if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes. You can also find this fic in Spanish (which happens to be my first language, so it'll probably be a bit better).  
> I do not own any of these characters. The story and its characters are based on BBC Merlin (TV).  
> If they were to be framed, I suppose the events could take place at some point in series five (Arthur is already king and married to Gwen).  
> Well, place them wherever you like, all I'll say is that, in my head, this absolutely happened at some point of the story (maybe even more than once :)).  
> I hope you enjoy it!

**MAYBE**

Arthur closed the doors of his chambers and rested his back against them with a resigned sigh. A new fight with Gwen. Another one. Same as always. Arthur had used Lancelot as a weapon, and she had shielded herself behind “you hide things from me”, “you don’t trust me” and “I’m your wife, but you seem incapable of sharing your problems with me”. She was just concerned, and her intentions were nothing but good, but her words had hurt Arthur.

Because she was right. Arthur could not help it. Guinevere had already betrayed him in the past, and she had even been the enemy during that period where she had been a puppet under Morgana’s strings. Besides… Well, Gwen was not his main support, Arthur knew that, and he certainly did not need her as his most trusted person, because that position was already occupied. By Merlin.

Merlin. Arthur would never trust Gwen the way he trusted Merlin. Hell, he would never trust anyone the way he trusted Merlin. There could never be anyone like Merlin, to him…

Arthur sighed again, rubbed his eyes with his fists and walked down the aisle, lazily sliding his glance over the dancing shadows cast by the torches. It was the dead of night, and the castle slept.

His steps took him to Gaius’s tower. Arthur opened the door carefully, without knocking, trying not to make any noise, and looked inside cautiously. The physician was sleeping in his pallet, in the middle of his chambers. Arthur got into the room stealthily and walked in tiptoe, trying not to wake him up. He startled when the old man snored soundly, and got paralysed until his heart managed to beat at its normal rate again. Then, he slid towards the door that separated him from Merlin, opened it, and sneaked in his room.

“Merlin,” he called, shouting in whispers. “Merlin!”

His servant stirred under the sheets.

“Merlin!” Arthur repeated, while giving him a heavy punch on the foot which he had within reach.

The boy sat up, startled.

“What…!”

“Sssh!” Arthur put a finger to his lips and directed a menacing glare at him.

“Arthur?” Merlin looked at him, disoriented. “What’s the matter?” he inquired, worried, more alertly. 

“I have argued with Guinevere,” Arthur confessed, troubled.

“What?” Merlin said, bewildered. “Wait—What time is it?”

“I have argued with Guinevere,” Arthur repeated impatiently, ignoring his servant’s last question.

Merlin looked at him blankly.

“Right. So?”

“So? SO? I have argued with my wife, Merlin!” Arthur bellowed, speaking as high as the whispers allowed him.

Merlin stared at him.

“Right. You have argued with Gwen. That bit’s clear. The question is, what are you doing here, waking me up, in the middle of the night?”

“For God’s sake, Merlin, it’s obvious. _I have argued with Gwen_.”

“Yeah, you’ve already said that!” Merlin exclaimed, annoyed.

“And…” Arthur continued, emphasizing the conjunction and waiting a few seconds to see if Merlin would complete the sentence. Merlin clearly did not follow his course of reasoning, so he sighed exasperated and went on. “I can't sleep in my room. With her. In the same bed”.

Merlin raised his eyebrows.

“All right. So?” he repeated, absolutely fed up.

“So, get up. Out. I’ll sleep in your bed”.

Merlin gaped at him.

“You must be joking”.

“I am certainly not. You’re my servant, and I order you to lend me your bed so I can sleep”.

“You’ve got hundreds of empty rooms with hundreds of empty beds in this castle!” Merlin cried out, indignantly. “Go pick one and leave me alone!”

“Merlin!” Arthur told him off. “You are talking to your King!”

“No, right now I’m talking to a complete idiot. Arthur, you are not being reasonable”.

“What! Of course I am! And who do you call an idiot?! You are the idiot!” Arthur said losing his temper and raising his voice too much.

On the other side of the door, Gaius muttered something in his sleep. Arthur and Merlin stood still, silently, until the snores told them that he was still asleep.

“Listen,” Arthur continued more calmly. “I can’t sleep alone, okay? If I’m left alone in one of those rooms, with no one to talk to, I’ll be mulling over the argument the whole night and I won’t be able to sleep”.

“Well, it would serve you quite right”.

Arthur looked at him raising his eyebrows in annoyance.

“Merlin. Please,” he pleaded.

Merlin looked back at him and sighed. How could he deny him anything when he looked at him with those sad eyes?

“Right. Okay”.

Arthur smiled, relieved.

“But I’m not sleeping on the floor”.

“What…”

“I’m not going to sleep on the floor. You may be the King, but this is _my_ room, and this is _my_ bed. I’m not going to give it to you so that I have to sleep on the floor.

“Then…? You surely aren’t suggesting that _I_ ,” he gave special emphasis to the pronoun, “will be the one sleeping on the floor”.

Merlin shrugged, lay down again and closed his eyes.

“If you want to sleep in bed, you’ll have to share it with me,” he said.

Silence settled in the small room for a few seconds.

“This is unbelievable,” Arthur growled at last. “Move away,” he added, giving him a not-so-affectionate shove.

Merlin smiled without opening his eyes and moved to make a space for him.

"This is ridiculous," Arthur mumbled as he settled in. “There is hardly room for one person here”.

He lay down at Merlin’s side, and squirmed growling for a few seconds.

"No. Hold on. Get up," he said at last.

"No way," Merlin replied.

"Just… Just switch sides”.

Merlin turned his head and looked over his shoulder, perplexed.

"I'm serious, Merlin! I can't sleep on the right side," Arthur complained.

Merlin snorted and, resigned, got up. Sleepy, he surrounded the bed and lay down on the other side.

"Satisfied?”

"Better, thank you”.

Arthur looked at the ceiling as Merlin tried to fall asleep on his left side.

"Merlin”.

"Mmm?”

"This rickety bed is very uncomfortable. It’s too small, and hard as a stone. It's horrible”.

"Oh, well, forgive me for being a simple servant and having a humble bed, my Lord," Merlin mocked.

"I don't know how you can sleep here”.

"Well, it's pretty difficult for me right now, really”.

They remained silent for a while. However, when Merlin thought that, with a bit of luck, Arthur may have fallen asleep, he spoke again.

"Merlin?”

"What”.

"Why do you think I argue so much with Guinevere?”

"Well, you are a bit bad tempered”.

"What?”

"You get angry easily”.

“I don’t!” Arthur said quite outraged.

“See?” Merlin grinned, looking at him over his shoulder.

Arthur pursed his lips and swelled his cheeks, irritated. Touché. He took a deep breath and asked, more calmly:

“Do you really mean it? Do you think it is my fault?”

Merlin sighed and sat up again, his back resting against the headboard of the bed and his shoulder touching Arthur’s shoulder.

“Well, I’m no expert, Arthur, but I think it’s quite normal to argue with the people you spend most of the day with. It’s just a part of living together. I mean, look at us. You and I are arguing all the time.”

“We are not arguing _all the time”._

Merlin raised an eyebrow.

“Right, okay, we argue a bit. But it’s not the same,” Arthur protested. “You and me— We don’t really argue. It’s just… banter. Horseplay”.

“If you say so…” Merlin muttered, sceptical.

Arthur ignored him.

“Fights with Guinevere are… different. They are… unpleasant. They make me feel horrible. And then it’s so hard to say I’m sorry. We’re both so stubborn… Specially me”.

Merlin looked at him with empathy. 

“I’m a brute, Merlin. In the end, I always end up mentioning Lancelot. And then she says I don't trust her”.

“But that’s not true. I’m sure she doesn’t mean it”.

“But what if she is right, Merlin? I mean, I… I feel that I can tell you anything. That I can count on you for anything. But when it comes to her… I just… can’t. Not that easily, at least. It’s not the same”.

Merlin looked at him as much moved as worried. He stared at his friend thoughtfully.

“I don’t know, I feel that… that’s so wrong. That it’s not normal” Arthur said in distress.

“Well, I’m your friend and Gwen is your wife. Your relationship with both of us doesn’t have to be the same. I mean, logically, it’s different. It _has to be_ different. Besides, not telling her everything doesn’t mean you don’t love her”.

Arthur sighed, uneasy.

“I mean, I don’t know, look at me. I’ve got Gaius, whom I love like a father. And… I’ve got you. I share with him some things I’ve not told you, but…”

“What?!” Arthur cut in, startled. “Hang on, what are you talking about? What things aren’t you telling me?”

“Things,” Merlin replied evasively. “That’s not the point”.

“Oh, well, I think now it is!”

“Will you shut up and listen for once in your life? What I’m trying to say is that it’s a fact that I share some things with Gaius, some… _little secrets_ so to speak —Arthur goggled and had to make a great effort not to interrupt him— that you don’t know about. Yet there’s nothing and no one I care about more than you, Arthur. You’ve always been and always will be my main priority”.

Arthur looked at him with an enraptured smile and eyes tinged with emotion. Oh, Merlin.

“It’s probably the same with me and Gwen. You may have told me some things you haven’t shared with her, maybe so she doesn't worry, or whatever. You have some secrets with me, okay, but... She's your wife," Merlin concluded, giving him a meaningful look.

But Arthur just kept staring at the ceiling, frowning. It was not like that. If he compared his relationship with Gwen and his relationship with Merlin, he somehow felt that the second was the one he valued the most; he valued it above everything. Arthur felt that if he had to choose between keeping Gwen or Merlin by his side, he would choose the boy. His heart had no doubts about it. Guinevere was his wife and queen, and he loved her. He knew he loved her. And he would not want to lose her for the world. But the person he would not know how to live without… was Merlin.

“Yeah. You’re probably right,” he said though, because there were things he would never admit or say out loud.

“Of course I am”.

Merlin gave a hint of an encouraging smile. Arthur passed a hand over his face, overwhelmed.

“I guess I fear she’ll get tired of me. That she will stop loving me. Do you think Guinevere would abandon me if that was the case?”

“What? No! My Lord, Gwen loves you. She will never stop loving you”.

Arthur smiled and, without looking at him, elbowed him.

“Even if I am an arrogant and pompous dollop-head?”

Merlin giggled.

“Gwen sets the bar very low, believe me”.

Arthur shoved him harder, and Merlin’s laugh turned into a muffled groan.

They kept quiet for a while.

“What about you, Merlin?” Arthur said at last, turning his head to look into his servant’s eyes. They were barely separated by a few inches.

“You are right. I have a bad temper. What if it keeps getting worse over the years? What if I become an unbearable old grouch?”

“More than you already are?”

Arthur cast an irritated look at him.

“I’m serious, Merlin. What if we do nothing but argue, really argue? What if I start ordering you to do horrible chores the whole day?”

Merlin opened his mouth as if to remark something, but Arthur’s irritated gaze made him change his mind and remained quiet.

“What if…? What if I become a worse king than my father? What if I let everybody down? What if… I let _you_ down?”

Merlin’s eyes grew incredibly soft and warm.

“Would you pack your things, would you stop being my servant, would you leave Camelot? Would you… would you leave me?”

They looked into each other’s eyes.

“Arthur” Merlin said, solemn. “I know you could never let me down. You are the Once and Future King, and you are destined to great things. I know that for certain”.

Arthur sighed, disappointed. He was not talking about him as a king…

Merlin stared at him. He knew what he was thinking.

“Arthur,” he called, softly. “You know I will never, ever, abandon you. I will always be by your side, always, come what may. And I’ll be happy being your servant, till the day I die.”

Arthur lifted his gaze and smiled at him, grateful. Merlin smiled back.

“I promise,” he added.

Arthur nodded, still smiling.

“Thank you, Merlin”.

He believed him. Of course he did. Merlin always kept his promises, even when they seemed impossible. To Arthur, believing and trusting him was easy, as easy as breathing. Because Merlin was always there, Merlin had never let him down. And he never would. The rest of the world could, but not Merlin. Never Merlin. And that certainty gave Arthur an infinite sense of safety and relief. The boy could not even begin to imagine how much Arthur valued his presence, his company, his advice, his consoling words.

Arthur cleared his throat.

“Well”, he mumbled, rolling and turning his back to Merlin. “Time to sleep. That’s if you are able to keep your mouth shut for a while, Merlin”. It was so nice to say his name. Merlin. Merlin. Merlin. “It’s impossible to sleep with your endless prattle…”

Merlin rolled his eyes and smiled. He looked fondly at Arthur’s profile and lay with his back against Arthur’s back, although the bed was so small that there was not even an inch of separation between them.

“And keep away,” Arthur warned over Merlin’s shoulder. “Don’t you dare touch me”.

Merlin grinned widely and let out a little chuckle.

“What?” Arthur barked.

“Do you remember that time you said that sharing a bed with me would be the last thing you’d do? Well… Look at you now”.

“Shut up! I’m not doing this for the fun of it, _Mer_ lin”.

“Well, me neither”.

“Good. Comfort to know. And I warn you again: don’t-touch-me. If you try and hug me, even if it’s while you’re asleep, I’ll have your hands chopped off”.

Merlin snorted.

“Oh, yeah? And who would do all your chores, then? Who would muck out your horses, wash your floor, tidy your room, polish your armour, clean your boots, wash your clothes, get you dressed, wake you up in the mornings…?” Merlin enumerated.

“Literally anybody would do all those things better than you, Merlin”.

Merlin shook his head, not losing his smile.

“Don’t worry, Sire. I have no desire to get even closer to you”.

“Good!” Arthur grunted.

They did not say anything else until they drifted off, but they both smiled in their sleep.

*

"Merlin! For Christ's sakes, this boy's going to get him sacked. As much as the King appreciates him, if he doesn’t do his job properly...” Gaius mumbled early the next day.

Merlin hadn't gotten up yet.

"Time to get up, you lazy boy. Arthur will be angry if you don't wake him up on tim-- Oh”.

Gaius's next words died in his lips as soon as he opened the door to Merlin's room. He and Arthur were still sleeping soundly even though the sun had long since risen.

Gaius could not help but smile ear to ear, overcome with emotion.

"Oh. Of course”.

The King slept with placid expression hugging Merlin from behind. He was holding his servant against his chest as if the boy were the most valuable of treasures.

Gaius closed the door slowly and discreetly.

Those two idiots... They were made for each other. And they seemed to be the only ones to ignore that.

*

Merlin half opened his eyes as soon as he felt Gaius had closed the door. He looked at Arthur and, smiling slightly, closed his eyes again.

Maybe Gaius was wrong. Maybe they were not completely unaware. Maybe not.


End file.
